I’d say it’s because she arriving tomorrow, but that’s actually not the reason I’m hearing my mother’s voice in my head. It’s always there, especially during times of distress. And I’ll tell you, it’s not a bad voice to have there. It’s much more calm and sane than the rest of the voices in my head.
It’s just one of those overpacked days. Six deadlines and people emailing and calling all day, people who should have done this emailing and calling weeks ago when they were supposed to, but they didn’t and so now their time crunch is MY time crunch. Anyway, I’ve been working like mad all day with that worrisome feeling that you’re going too fast and are therefore sure to miss and or screw up something. A few minutes ago, I came crashing into the finish line (sort of, I still have one more press release to edit, but I’ve got a couple of hours to do it in the morning), but I wasn’t feeling any better. That anxious, irritated feeling wouldn’t shake.
And that’s when I heard Mom’s voice: You probably need chocolate. I’d take a glass of prosecco over chocolate, but I still have the running group at 6 tonight, so, being the good daughter I am, I listened. Which brings me to Kakawa Chocolate House, and Old World Meso-American chocolate maker. They import French chocolate and add traditional herbs and spices, including my favorite, chile, to make truffles, cakes, brownies and so on. They use no wheat in any of their creations and only natural whole sweetners like agave.
I’m having Earl Grey tea and a Mexican brownie, which is dense, spicy, rich and fudgy. And comforting. Or I’m trying to let it be. I’m trying to take it all in. Be calm. Not yell at someone. I’m waiting for the chocolate to kick in, but I’ll be honest: good as it is, I’m afraid the only thing that’s going to unwind me is a run. And I realize how sick that is. Truly, I do.