Just a little Christmas shopping hilarity for y’all. My friend Christy and I met for lunch on Sunday and after lunch wandered around a nearby Victoria’s Secret. I thought perhaps I’d see a bra or two I could tell Santa about. But did you know that Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make A-cup bras in all its styles? Oh no. Some bras are really only for the chestedly gifted women. And even if they DO make an A cup, it only comes in maybe black and nude. No fancies for challenged chesties.
But there is ONE bra, my friends, that is made in such an array of A-sized colors and patterns, they have almost a whole CABINET reserved just for the As. It is the Miraculous bra, which claims to increase your bust by two sizes instantly. And if you are a woman who desires this, and you can conveniently forget the fact that every night you will also LOSE two sizes instantly, it is the bra for you.
It is not the bra for me.
See? Granted, I chose the most ridiculous pattern to make it look even more hideous, but all of this was worth it when the saleslady came by, squenched her perfume-laden shoulders together and squeaked, Um, could I get you a dressing room? I just smiled (see?) and said, No, thank you. I don’t need this bra.
Now. Onto other matters, because I’m already late. Today we are celebrating Goggie and Grandaddy Day, the day that would have been my grandparents’ 78th wedding anniversary, which was actually yesterday. I just keep celebrating whenever I feel like it.
In honor of this auspicious day, I invented a cookie. This is the first in my Christmas Cookie Series (MORE to COME!), and it was inspired by my Goggie’s famed peanut butter rolls. It was intended to be an olive oil shortbread and peanut butter/cream cheese pinewheel, but as you can see, that’s not how it worked out.
Here’s the recipe:
1.5 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 cup self rising flour
1 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1/2ish tsp salt
Throw this all in your mixer and mix. I’m sure creaming the sugar with the egg and all that is important, but sometimes I don’t have the patience. This will be a taffy-like dough. I spread it out on parchment paper with a spatula, but in hindsight, I’d just drop it into balls onto a parchment paper-covered cookie sheet, then press thumbprints into the balls for the filling.
1/2 package reduced fat cream cheese
1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup crunchy (because it’s the best) peanut butter
Mix all these together until creamy and blended, then spread over the dough OR, if you’re following my would’ve-done instructions, drop a bit of filling into each cookie.
Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes, if your cookies are mammoth like mine, or perhaps only 10 minutes if they’re sensibly sized. Let rest on cookie sheet for a few minutes to firm up.
Cheers, Goggie and Granddaddy!